Trouble Accepting Reality? Break Free From Resistance

Accepting reality is not an easy thing to do.

For me, it’s been among one of the hardest.

I've spent years grappling with the world around me, often overwhelmed by the suffering I see. I longed for peace and joy, but found myself stuck in a paradox: How could I feel at peace when there's so much pain in the world?

This is the dilemma we all face - how to hold peace while standing for what we believe in, how to care deeply without letting it consume us.

We all know, logically, that we can't control reality. As Byron Katie wisely said, "When you argue with reality, you lose - but only 100% of the time." I understood that accepting reality was the only path to the peace I craved.

But knowing and experiencing are worlds apart.

For the longest time, I couldn't imagine finding peace amidst the perceived suffering around me. It seemed impossible. Yet here I am now, able to access that peace pretty quickly.

My journey wasn't short or easy. But by sharing what I've learned, I hope to make your path a little smoother.

Most importantly, I want you to know this: If I could get here, you can too. I know people say this all the time, but I mean it with every fiber of my being. Your peace is possible, and it's waiting for you.

The Reality of Resistance

Let's talk about why accepting reality can feel so incredibly hard sometimes.

If you're frustrated with yourself for struggling, know this: there's nothing wrong with you. It's actually a sign that everything's working as it should. It's how we're wired.

Understanding Resistance and Its Impact

I always like to think of the brain as an overprotective parent. It's constantly on the lookout for danger, trying to keep you safe and cozy. But sometimes, it goes overboard. You resist things because, on some level, your brain thinks it's protecting you. It also wants to preserve energy when possible, and growth takes energy.

When life throws unexpected challenges our way, it's natural to want to resist and avoid what's happening. The problem is that this resistance, while seemingly helpful in the moment, often creates more long-term issues than it solves.

Remember the last time you avoided something – maybe an emotion, a conversation, or a situation. Did it really make things better? Chances are, it didn't. Resistance often stems from fear, plain and simple. You're scared of what might happen if you face what you're avoiding.

So, what do you do instead of facing reality? Maybe you lose yourself in TV, food, or drinks – choose your escape. Perhaps you make excuses, lie to yourself about why avoidance is the right choice, or become overly critical of your inability to face your fears. You might even push away those closest to you, all because you're in full-on protection mode. Sound familiar?

The Trap of Avoidance

Avoiding reality is like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. It takes a ton of energy, and eventually, it's gonna pop back up. When you push away feelings or experiences, you create blockages in your body. You think you're avoiding pain, but you're just shoving it down and holding onto it instead of letting it flow through you.

This avoidance can lead to problems like:

• Skyrocketing stress and anxiety
• Missing out on growth opportunities
• Strained relationships
• Feeling stuck or unfulfilled
• and so much more!

But here's the good news: by accepting reality, you're opening the door to a whole new world of possibilities. Yes, it might feel uncomfortable at first. Growth usually does. But it's the first step to living a life that actually feels like yours.

Embracing Your Life As It Is

Now that we've explored why accepting reality can be challenging, let's dive into how you can start embracing your life as it is.

Acknowledging The Present

Take a deep breath and look around you. What do you see? This is your life, right now. You might wish things were different, but fighting reality only causes more pain.

Instead of wishing things were different, try to see your life clearly. Notice both the good and the tough parts. They're all pieces of your journey. When you stop battling with what is, you free up energy to create the things you want.

Remember, acknowledging your present doesn't mean giving up on your dreams. It's about starting from where you are, not where you wish you were. It's like using a GPS - you need to know your current location before plotting a course to your destination.

The Power of Acceptance

Accepting your life doesn't mean you love everything about it. It just means you stop fighting what you can't change right now. This shift can be life-changing.

When you accept things as they are, you:

• Feel more peaceful (genuinely peaceful, not that fake "I'm fine" BS)
• Think more clearly (goodbye, mental fog and confusion)
• Make better choices (because you're not operating from resistance)
• Find unexpected opportunities (they were there all along)

Acceptance isn't weakness or giving up. It's strength. It takes courage to face reality head-on. But when you do, you gain real power over your life.

Try this: Pick one thing you've been resisting. How would your day change if you accepted it, just for today? You might be surprised at how much lighter you feel.

Embracing the Full Spectrum of Life

Here's something I remind myself of when struggling with uncomfortable moments: appreciate the full range of emotions. Without knowing the negative, you wouldn't recognize the positive. If everything was always good, that would just be normal life - boring, right?

To truly appreciate something, you need to know its opposite. So when you're feeling down, remember: you're not doing something wrong if you're not happy 24/7. That's just part of the human experience, contrary to the constant pursuit of happiness message we often receive.

The Seriousness Check

I have a tendency to take life way too seriously. So when things feel heavy, I know it's time for a seriousness check. I have to take a step back and remind myself of the bigger picture and what really matters.

Try this: imagine looking down on your life as if it's a board game. You're just going through the motions, playing along with the rules of this human existence. All the while, there's a reality beyond the game.

It's okay to "lose" sometimes and enjoy the process. We can always start over. When we get too attached to external influences, traumas, or limiting beliefs – things that aren't the truth of who we really are - life can feel super serious. But understanding these are just attachments allows us to loosen our grip and find more joy in the journey.

Pain as a Pathway

Pain can be a powerful teacher and catalyst for remembering our wholeness within. When we embrace discomfort, we open doors to new perspectives and positive changes in our lives.

The Truth About Suffering

First off, let me be crystal clear: I don't believe we're here to suffer. Life isn't inherently about suffering; it's a series of events that we often label as such due to our thoughts, beliefs, and past experiences.

However, becoming aware of when we suffer allows us to see how we're not aligned with our highest truth. It's like a cosmic wake-up call, showing us where we've forgotten our own wholeness.

The light within you is more powerful than any pain you'll experience in this lifetime. We just tend to forget that little detail. So, suffering becomes an opportunity to remember who we truly are and decide who we're not. It's not about being meant to suffer, but about pain showing you where you're out of sync with your true self.

Transforming Challenges into Catalysts for Growth

Think of your struggles as stepping stones towards wisdom and resilience. Here's a perspective shift that can change everything: What if life was always happening for you, not to you? While there isn't always a magical reason behind every challenge, sometimes crappy things just happen, adopting this mindset can transform your approach.

Your pain isn't punishment - it's fuel for change. Sometimes, your painful experiences are exactly what qualify you for your life's purpose. When tough times hit, ask yourself:

• "How can this make me better?"
• "What can I learn from this?"
• "Who do I want to be as I go through this?"

These questions shift the power from the challenge back to you, helping you uncover blocks to your inner wholeness and propelling you forward.

Remember, growth isn't always comfortable, but it's always valuable. Trust the process. You're stronger than you think, and every step through difficulty is a step towards a better you. On the other side of pain, there's often something beautiful waiting.

Uncovering the Hidden Gems in Life's Challenges

Every problem has a hidden gift. It might not seem like it at first, but there's always something good to find. These gifts could be:

• New friendships forged in the fire of shared struggles
• A deeper understanding of yourself and your resilience
• A clearer vision of what you truly want in life
• Stronger faith or beliefs that carry you through tough times

Look for these gifts in your tough times. They're there, even if they're hard to see at first. When you find them, you'll feel more grateful for all parts of your life, even the challenging ones.

Remember, challenges also teach you what really matters. They help you focus on what's important and let go of what's not. This can lead to a simpler, happier life - one where you're more in tune with your true self and less caught up in the noise of life.

So, the next time you're facing a difficult situation, take a deep breath and ask yourself: "How can I use this to reconnect with my true self?" You might be surprised at the wisdom and strength you uncover.

Remembering the Self

Pain can be a pathway back to your true Self, which is key in not just accepting reality, but thriving in it. Reaching the goal of accepting reality comes from strengthening and trusting our connection to our highest truth, our soul's essence, the wholeness within.

Uncovering Your Inner Truth

Accepting reality isn't about settling. It's about seeing things as they are so you can align with your deepest truth. Your highest self is already within you, just waiting to be uncovered. It's like a projector that's gotten clouded up with all sorts of crap - attachments, stories, fears. Your job is to clean that lens.

1. Get quiet and listen to your inner voice
2. Notice what lights you up and brings you joy
3. Pay attention to your gut feelings
4. Let go of others' expectations

Your true self already knows what's best for you. Trust those inner nudges and follow what feels right. It's about wading through all the noise and all the misguided parts of us that come up, letting your truth speak the loudest, and leaning into it when you find it.

Building Trust in Yourself

Here's where it gets good: when you trust yourself completely, and trust that you already hold within you the wholeness that you’re seeking, the outside world, along with your own misguided parts, lose their influence over you.

Imagine how your life can change when you put your trust in your higher self - that part of you connected to everything. Your brain might argue (it loves to do that), but keep bringing yourself back to this knowing.

Try this: Whatever happens, trust that it's part of your experience. When you feel the urge to look outside for answers, go inward instead. Quiet your mind and listen. Follow your intuition and then follow through. It'll guide you to peace faster and is always there to support you.

The Journey of Realignment

Realignment is an ongoing process. You'll face challenges as you shed old patterns. That's okay. Each obstacle is a chance to grow.

When you feel off-track:

• Take a deep breath
• Ask yourself: "What would my highest self do?"
• Make a small choice that feels true to you

Remember, you're not alone in this. Many others are on this path too. Be patient and kind to yourself as you learn and grow.

Your life shifts when you align with your truth. You'll feel more peace, purpose, and joy. Hard times become easier to handle. You start to see how everything is helping you evolve.

My Personal Acceptance Story: From Resistance to Remembering

I mentioned earlier that accepting reality has been one of my life's greatest challenges.

For the longest time, I didn't even realize this was my problem. I thought I was dealing with anxiety, helplessness, sometimes hopelessness, and an inability to show up as I wanted - giving into addictions and being reactive towards others. What I came to find was that it was all connected.

The Battle with "Everything Happens as It Should"

I understood acceptance intellectually. I knew fighting reality was a losing battle. But as I looked at the world, I still couldn't shake the fact that I didn't like what I saw. How could "everything is happening as it should" be true when so much seemed wrong?

For years, I tried to dismiss that nagging voice inside me that just wouldn't stop resisting. I'd attempt to realign with the peace that all the spiritual leaders promised was possible. But by doing that, I was burying my true feelings, never allowing myself to feel or understand the deep pain and anger festering inside. This ultimately kept me stuck.

Breaking the Fix-Escape-Resist Loop

I was caught in a never-ending cycle of fixing, escaping, and resisting. I didn't like what I saw, so to avoid collapse, I'd try to fix it and take responsibility for things beyond my control. Then I'd fall into overwhelm and exhaustion, feeling helpless and like a failure when things didn't change. Unable to bear the helplessness, I'd retreat, shut out the world, or escape life in some way.

Although escaping (mainly through drugs and alcohol) did momentarily distract me from the resistance and gave me a spark of the beauty I so believed in, it wasn't the embodied solution I really needed. When reality set back in, the cycle would continue. Rinse and repeat. It was exhausting.

The breakthrough came when I finally allowed myself to feel that anger and pain over the world. But feeling it wasn't enough. I had to go back to the exact moment where I forgot who I truly was. I had to sit with the parts of me that held so much pain and remind them of their true essence.

The Moment of Forgetting

As a child, I came into this world full of love and light. But when certain things happened in my childhood and I stopped feeling that reflected back to me, I was left with deep disappointment and pain. Because that pain made me feel as though it took the love and light along with it, my little brain decided that to feel that again, I needed the outside world to reflect it back to me.

That one misguided conclusion shaped so much of my life and my struggles. I was being run by my inability to accept reality and this need to have it different than it was in order to feel okay.

I forgot that what I was looking for existed in me all along. The love, the light, the peace – it was all there, waiting to be remembered.

Everything in my life was pointing back to this truth, showing me when I was off track and nudging me to remember who I really am.

Acceptance Without Attachment

Today, I still don't always like what I see in the world. But I can accept it without the resistance that used to weigh me down. I understand now that it's not the outside world's job to reflect my truth – it's the other way around. And that brings me a deep sense of peace, no matter what's happening around me.

If life had been easy, I might never have had to find this truth within myself. But at the same time, we don't have to go through drama and trauma to get here. Who you are is always there, waiting. Pain can be a powerful catalyst, but it's not the only way.

Remember, accepting reality isn't about giving up. It's about remembering who you truly are and living from that place of power. Trust yourself, clean that inner lens, and watch how your world transforms. You've got this, and I'm right here with you on this journey.

Practical Steps to Accepting Reality

We've covered a lot, but let's end with some practical tips to incorporate into your life. Accepting reality can be tough, but it's possible with the right tools.

Here are additional ways to help you embrace life as it is and find some peace in this crazy world:

Shift Your Perspective

When resistance hits and you're struggling to accept reality, take a moment to shift your mindset. See it as an opportunity for growth, not a punishment. Align with your true self and try to lighten up - think of life as a board game if it helps.

This is easier said than done, especially in the heat of the moment. Your body might be in fight-or-flight mode, and that's okay. Come back to it when you're ready. It's never too late to revisit a moment with a clearer head.

Listen Up: Your Body's Trying to Tell You Something

When you're able to, really listen to yourself. Mindfulness or meditation can help here. Don't push away your resistance, but welcome it.

Try this:

• Take 5 deep breaths, focusing on the air moving in and out.
• Do a body scan. Notice any tension and let it go.
• Practice radical acceptance. Say, "This is what's happening right now. I can't change it, but I can accept it."
• Set a timer for 5 minutes and just watch your thoughts come and go like clouds in the sky. No judging, just observing.

Offer Compassion to Whatever Arises

Compassion is so important in this process. Feel your feelings and get curious about the parts of you that are resisting reality. Sit with them. What are they trying to tell you? Often, the things that hurt most point to what matters most to you.

Notice where the resistance is coming and any thoughts around this. Try to discern what’s actually yours and what’s not, letting go of things that don't belong to you.

Offer them so much love and compassion from your higher self, providing gentle reminders of what’s true. This is why remembering the Self is key — it allows you to bring that compassion.

Reframe Your Story

When struggling to accept reality, it may be time to rewrite your story. But not with fluffy, feel-good BS. I’m talking about real, raw, honest reframing.

Make your story one of strength, growth, and resilience. If you can't see that in yourself right now, borrow my belief in you. Or imagine someone you admire handling your situation. How would they show up?

Challenge negative thoughts. When that little voice says, "I can't do this," ask, "Is that really true?" Then look for evidence that proves you can.

Face the facts, even when they're hard. It's the first step to making real changes. Try turning "have to" into "get to." Instead of "I have to go to work," try "I get to earn money to support myself."

Avoid these common reframing traps:

1. Don't reframe to avoid pain. Sometimes, there's no silver lining or reason for why something happened. Allow yourself to feel that pain instead of somehow trying to make it positive. Be honest about the reality of the situation.
2. Don't give your pain too much power. Avoid making your whole identity about your trauma or overcoming it. Not everything needs deep meaning. Giving it too much weight can keep you stuck and holding onto it.

The key is to reframe in a way that tells the truth of who you are, not to escape pain. Remember, escaping keeps you stuck, while facing the truth sets you free. Use reframing as a tool for honest self-reflection and growth, not as a means of avoidance.

Raise Your Vibration

As you work on accepting reality, find ways to raise your frequency. Here are three powerful practices:

Cultivating Gratitude

Practice gratitude daily, especially for your challenges. Try saying, "Thank you for this opportunity to grow, to flex my strength muscles, and to remember who I am."

• Start a gratitude journal. Write down 3 things you're thankful for each day and why.
• Tell someone you appreciate them. Could be anyone, even the barista who made your coffee.
• Look for growth opportunities in tough situations. Ask, "What can I learn from this?"
• Create a gratitude jar. Fill it with joyful moments. Read them when you're feeling down.

Practicing Kindness

Be kind and compassionate to others. It's a vibration booster and helps you understand yourself better.

• Don't take things personally. See situations from others' perspectives.
• Remember: Everyone's doing their best with what they know.
• Use the mantra "to each their own" when faced with rudeness or disrespect.
• Stand firm in your truth while allowing others theirs.
• Offer compassion for the "untruths" others might be attached to.

Flip the script: Instead of thinking "I need people to be nicer," realize that others are acting based on their own thoughts and beliefs. Remember, someone's behavior often has little to do with you and more to do with their own experiences and perspective. By understanding this, you can approach interactions with more empathy and less personal frustration.

Utilizing Reiki

If you're into energy work, Reiki can be a powerful tool for acceptance.

• If you're attuned, write an affirmation about what you're trying to accept and call in Reiki's support.
• A Reiki session can boost your vibration, strengthen your connection to your higher self, and help release resistance.
• Interested in a distance session with me? Book here.

Remember, raising your vibration isn't about ignoring reality. It's about facing it with a more empowered mindset.

Embracing Reality: Your Path to Freedom

When you're resisting reality, ask yourself: What am I really fighting against? Identify the feeling you’re afraid of losing. Often, it's about safety, comfort, inner peace, balance, or meaning. Whatever it is, the key realization is that you've been generating these feelings all along. That thing you're resisting? It's not taking anything away from you.

If you're suffering, you're probably believing something that's not true. See this as a wake-up call, challenging you to open up to something more. It's your portal to freedom.

Life wounds us, sure. But we don't need to cling to these scars or twist ourselves into unrecognizable versions we were never meant to be.

Navigate through life with awareness of where you want to go, and do your best to let the rest drop away.

View challenges as happening for you, not to you. Let tough times remind you of your inner strength and true nature.

Pay attention and listen when something feels off.

Life occasionally tosses us unexpected challenges to snap us back to attention when we've strayed. The real problem comes when we tune out these signals and allow the hurdles to overwhelm us. For example, if you're meant to embody compassion and resilience but have lost touch with these qualities, life might present you with a difficult situation to reawaken them.

Remember, accepting reality isn't about giving up. It's about aligning with your true self and embracing life as it comes. You have everything you need within you—comfort, peace, safety—you just need to remember it. Once you do, it becomes so much easier to stop fighting and start accepting reality.

From this space, you'll have the capacity to hold peace among the pain and to care deeply for the world, circumstances, and people around you, while not losing yourself to it.